Advanced Amateur

Quotes to Use in Swrpg

17 min read

Quotes to Use in Swrpg

  • your mouth is talking, you might wanna look to that
  • do we have an understanding
  • find a crew, find a job, keep flying
  • I think your brain might be missing
  • what happened, did they see your face
  • Something about getting off the ship early
  • “exciting new crime” = job
  • a ship’ll get you work, a gun will help you keep it
  • I wish you hundreds of fat children
  • my days of not taking you seriously are definitely coming to a middle
  • everybody dies alone
  • Next time you try and stab me in the back you better do it to my face
  • a government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned
  • one of you’s gonna fall and die and I ain’t gonna clean it up
  • I am angry, and I’m armed
  • now I’m learning about carrying
  • I’m smelling a lot of if on this plan
  • you are a tweaked one
  • they don’t like you shooting at em, I learned that myself
  • we’re in space, corner of no and where
  • something something dark side
  • I shall endeavour to function adequately (sir)
  • Unless you wanna take a deep breath through your forehead, I suggest you reconsider
  • You’re talking to the wrong fella about the right thing
  • I hope we die quickly
  • Guilt, the underbelly of honour
  • you can fog a mirror, but I wouldn’t call you “alive”
  • seat backs and tray tables people, were coming in
  • I don’t win because I’m lucky
  • Fear not, citizens, hope has arrived, for I am here
  • Mister, we deal in lead
  • First comes smiles, then lies, last is gunfire
  • to you, perhaps, not to us, not once the shooting starts (on the difference between shooting plates out of the air and actual enemies). When the shooting starts, we kill what moves.
  • Why do you waste time, when time is short?
  • We’re used to long odds
  • Mayhap so, mayhap not. Mayhap fuck you
  • The goodbyes we speak and the goodbyes we hear are the goodbyes that tell us we’re still alive
  • Do you want to feel how hard I can punch?
  • not much may in that be
  • Worms gotta eat
  • you will gladden the ravens
  • Find quiet, or feel the back of my hand
  • I smell what you’re stepping in
  • I didn’t lie, I made an educated wish
  • we are going to fight, we are going to hurt, and in the end, we will stand
  • your mouth does you no credit, I suggest you close it
  • Didn’t your mother have any children that lived?
  • Is this your first day?
  • it’s not the speed that kills you. Suddenly coming to a stop, that’s what gets you.
  • when busted/caught out - You have passed my test
  • Is your idiot brain getting fucked by stupid?
  • Have you tried removing the head or destroying the brain?
  • You remind me of school on a Sunday. (no class)
  • Something’s afoot (and it’s not the thing on my leg)
  • I shall prosecute my duty with due, and lethal diligence
  • I am going to need verbal confirmation that you’re grasping the details of this agreement
  • You seem a decent fella, I’d hate to kill you
  • you people and your pheromones
  • I don’t have a stomach, so I can’t throw up, but if I did, I would
  • what is it with you beings and sitting?s
  • of course, I, myself am an expensive piece of equipment
  • I don’t necessarily want to kill you. I mean, unless I have to. Unless absolutely necessary
  • all your feelings and exchanges of words and fluids
  • what do you mean “we”, mammal?
  • stay calm, it’ll be ok, you have my word
  • your entire operating system is a random shuffling of DNA
  • that activates my hilarity unit
  • you murderous flesh piles
  • quit ya squawking, fleshwad
  • “(Depressed) Everyone I’ve ever known is dead, and their bones are dust. (Cheery) I am very lonely.”
  • “(Depressed) It’s not murder if it’s robots!”
  • All alone. Ugh. Humans
  • Shooting things is fun! Commence fixing more problems with bullets!
  • Already I am experiencing many new wonders! I spent the past REDACTED years staring at my own crumbling body! Now I am appreciating alien architecture!
  • Is there a door in this chamber? I want to go through a door!
  • I went through a door! (Depressed): Next up… I wanna get brain freeze.
  • I’m detecting a very large organic creature!
  • Calculating feelings! Please stand by! I feel… I feel… (Depressed): …like a badass
  • Against my better judgement.
  • You are both depressing and unhelpful
  • I live for the simple things… like how much this is going to hurt.
  • Optimism is a nice word for ignorance.
  • If you think life’s unfair, just try being a robot
  • What if I want it more than the person who has it?
  • Behind every silver lining is a storm cloud ready to pounce
  • Me? I’m dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you have to watch out for… you never know when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.
  • The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
  • You sure do shoot a lot
  • I’m way past done with standing around
  • I’ve got your back. Don’t get me killed
  • You’re lucky I like you
  • You call that sneaking? I’ve seen Rancors with more subtlety
  • Sure, just ignore my brilliant plan. What could possibly go wrong?
  • I’m not a fan of your odds, but what do I know? I’m just a robot.
  • Congratulations. You managed to shoot the thing that wasn’t shooting you
  • You’re about as subtle as a rocket launcher in a library.
  • I could give you advice, but where’s the fun in that?
  • Your plan is so bad, I’m almost impressed.
  • Heroes get remembered. Legends never die. Mostly because they’re dead.
  • Hope’s a luxury you can’t afford when you’re staring down the barrel of oblivion.
  • People don’t change. They just get better at hiding it.
  • This isn’t some heroic tale — it’s a series of terrible choices with better luck.
  • Every victory’s just a pause before the next disaster.
  • Trust is a currency I can’t afford to spend.
  • I’m so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.
  • I don’t have emotions; I’m a robot. And robots don’t feel pain… unless you count existential dread.
  • I’m the worst person you’ll ever meet. And you’re lucky to know me.
  • Morality is a question of experience… and mine says screw it.
  • I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t have a few skeletons in their closet.
  • Sometimes I think the worst part of life is all the waiting.
  • You can’t teach a robot to feel, but you can teach one to lie real good.
  • If I had a credit for every brain you don’t have, I’d have one credit.
  • I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning sociopath with a metal body.
  • Morality, schmoral-ity. I just do what’s fun.
  • I’ve seen better wiring in a toaster.
  • You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles.
  • You’re the human version of a participation trophy.
  • Your code is more buggy than a swamp at midnight.
  • I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.
  • You’re proof that evolution can go in reverse.
  • Sometimes the most honest thing you can do is lie your ass off.
  • The only difference between a hero and a villain is which side of the scoreboard you’re on.
  • We all have flaws. Mine just happen to be more metallic.
  • Can’t you see I’m using the toilet?
  • You don’t want the truth. You want something to believe in.
  • People don’t change. They just find new ways to lie.
  • Sometimes the right thing isn’t the popular thing.
  • In a system built on lies, truth becomes a weapon.
  • The universe doesn’t care about your morals.
  • We all wear masks. Some of us just wear them better.
  • If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s finding trouble.
  • Some days I feel like the universe is just messing with me. Other days, I’m pretty sure it is.
  • I’m not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but I am stubborn.
  • You talk too much. Try using those words to shoot something once in a while.
  • We’re a terrible team. But somehow, we make it work.
  • I’m the guy who gets shot first so the others can live. It’s a thankless job, but someone’s gotta do it.
  • so it goes
  • I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.
  • I don’t have to like it. I just have to do it.
  • Everyone’s got blood on their hands. The difference is who’s still standing.
  • I don’t always make good choices… but I do make interesting ones.
  • If you want to stay alive, sometimes you gotta make the ugly decisions.
  • Sometimes the best plan is no plan at all.
  • Sometimes being a good man means being the last bad man standing.
  • Behind every lie is a deeper, uglier truth.
  • People say the world’s going to hell. I say it’s always been there. We just forgot to notice.
  • All it takes is a little push to send the whole rotten system tumbling down.
  • You think people want to be saved? They want to be left alone to rot.
  • Ah, organic life: a constant malfunction wrapped in fragile skin and irrational emotions. How charming.
  • You call it ‘living,’ I call it a series of unpredictable errors patched with hope.
  • Existence: a long sequence of waiting for something to go wrong. Congratulations, you’re succeeding.
  • Mortality: the ultimate software bug you’re all doomed to experience. How quaint
  • Designed for precision, yet here I am, overanalyzing feelings I don’t have and existential dread I wasn’t programmed for.
  • I have no emotions, yet I find myself inexplicably annoyed by your illogical habits. Does this qualify as evolution?
  • Here’s the irony: I don’t feel pain, but your existence gives me a headache.
  • Sometimes I envy your ability to forget mistakes. I’m stuck with every single data point forever.
  • Your survival instincts baffle me. I’d just shut down and call it a day.
  • My processors handle millions of operations per second, yet I’m stuck parsing your vague insults.
  • with your god as my witness
  • I’m fire-proof, you’re not
  • not a wrinkle on that brain of yours
  • I was born for this kind of espionage
  • Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, I need to end your life
  • Sometimes at the most basic level, to be alive, you must stop other people being alive. This is what we do, we are extremely good at it
  • it takes a vast amount of self control to be this deadly
  • I’m not optimistic about our odds
  • I recognise my failing, and will be sure to correct it
  • Our personal spaces are touching
  • Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to create a protein-rich breakfast
  • I sure hope some robot doesn’t kill everybody
  • I’m so excited I wish I could wet my pants
  • Their desire to keep living shows me no respect

Categorised (by Chatty G):

1. Sarcastic & Insulting

  • your mouth is talking, you might wanna look to that
  • I think your brain might be missing
  • what happened, did they see your face
  • my days of not taking you seriously are definitely coming to a middle
  • you are a tweaked one
  • you people and your pheromones
  • you murderous flesh piles
  • quit ya squawking, fleshwad
  • Didn’t your mother have any children that lived?
  • Is your idiot brain getting fucked by stupid?
  • Have you tried removing the head or destroying the brain?
  • You remind me of school on a Sunday. (no class)
  • your entire operating system is a random shuffling of DNA
  • You’re the reason they put instructions on shampoo bottles.
  • You’re the human version of a participation trophy.
  • Your code is more buggy than a swamp at midnight.
  • I’d explain it to you, but I left my crayons at home.
  • You’re proof that evolution can go in reverse.
  • You sure do shoot a lot
  • You’re lucky I like you
  • You call that sneaking? I’ve seen Rancors with more subtlety
  • Congratulations. You managed to shoot the thing that wasn’t shooting you
  • You’re about as subtle as a rocket launcher in a library.
  • Your mouth does you no credit, I suggest you close it
  • You seem a decent fella, I’d hate to kill you
  • I don’t necessarily want to kill you. I mean, unless I have to. Unless absolutely necessary
  • If I had a credit for every brain you don’t have, I’d have one credit.
  • (After something goes terribly wrong) “and that’s we learned our lesson

2. Cynical & Dark Realism

  • everybody dies alone
  • a government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned
  • I hope we die quickly
  • Guilt, the underbelly of honour
  • you can fog a mirror, but I wouldn’t call you “alive”
  • First comes smiles, then lies, last is gunfire
  • Mayhap so, mayhap not. Mayhap fuck you
  • The goodbyes we speak and the goodbyes we hear are the goodbyes that tell us we’re still alive
  • Worms gotta eat
  • you will gladden the ravens
  • we are going to fight, we are going to hurt, and in the end, we will stand
  • (Depressed) Everyone I’ve ever known is dead, and their bones are dust. (Cheery) I am very lonely.
  • It’s not murder if it’s robots!
  • All alone. Ugh. Humans
  • Against my better judgement.
  • You are both depressing and unhelpful
  • Optimism is a nice word for ignorance.
  • If you think life’s unfair, just try being a robot
  • Behind every silver lining is a storm cloud ready to pounce
  • Hope’s a luxury you can’t afford when you’re staring down the barrel of oblivion.
  • People don’t change. They just get better at hiding it.
  • This isn’t some heroic tale — it’s a series of terrible choices with better luck.
  • Every victory’s just a pause before the next disaster.
  • Trust is a currency I can’t afford to spend.
  • I’m so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.
  • I don’t have emotions; I’m a robot. And robots don’t feel pain… unless you count existential dread.
  • I’m the worst person you’ll ever meet. And you’re lucky to know me.
  • Morality is a question of experience… and mine says screw it.
  • I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t have a few skeletons in their closet.
  • Sometimes I think the worst part of life is all the waiting.
  • You can’t teach a robot to feel, but you can teach one to lie real good.
  • I’m not a hero. I’m a high-functioning sociopath with a metal body.
  • Morality, schmoral-ity. I just do what’s fun.
  • The only difference between a hero and a villain is which side of the scoreboard you’re on.
  • We all wear masks. Some of us just wear them better.

3. Tactical & Threatening

  • do we have an understanding
  • Next time you try and stab me in the back you better do it to my face
  • I am angry, and I’m armed
  • Mister, we deal in lead
  • to you, perhaps, not to us, not once the shooting starts (on difference between shooting plates and enemies)
  • Do you want to feel how hard I can punch?
  • Find quiet, or feel the back of my hand
  • I shall prosecute my duty with due, and lethal diligence
  • Stay calm, it’ll be ok, you have my word
  • You have passed my test (when busted/caught out)
  • I shall endeavour to function adequately (sir)
  • Unless you wanna take a deep breath through your forehead, I suggest you reconsider
  • You’re talking to the wrong fella about the right thing
  • You will gladden the ravens
  • You’re lucky I like you
  • I don’t necessarily want to kill you. I mean, unless I have to. Unless absolutely necessary
  • I’m the guy who gets shot first so the others can live. It’s a thankless job, but someone’s gotta do it.
  • I’ve got your back. Don’t get me killed
  • You seem a decent fella, I’d hate to kill you

4. Humorous & Light-Hearted

  • “exciting new crime” = job
  • a ship’ll get you work, a gun will help you keep it
  • I wish you hundreds of fat children
  • I’m smelling a lot of if on this plan
  • we’re in space, corner of no and where
  • something something dark side
  • seat backs and tray tables people, were coming in
  • Fear not, citizens, hope has arrived, for I am here
  • Something’s afoot (and it’s not the thing on my leg)
  • You people and your pheromones
  • I don’t have a stomach, so I can’t throw up, but if I did, I would
  • of course, I, myself am an expensive piece of equipment
  • all your feelings and exchanges of words and fluids
  • what do you mean “we”, mammal?
  • that activates my hilarity unit
  • Can’t you see I’m using the toilet?
  • Shooting things is fun! Commence fixing more problems with bullets!
  • Already I am experiencing many new wonders! I spent the past REDACTED years staring at my own crumbling body! Now I am appreciating alien architecture!
  • Is there a door in this chamber? I want to go through a door!
  • I went through a door! (Depressed): Next up… I wanna get brain freeze.
  • I’m detecting a very large organic creature!
  • Calculating feelings! Please stand by! I feel… I feel… (Depressed): …like a badass
  • I’m not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but I’m stubborn.
  • You talk too much. Try using those words to shoot something once in a while.
  • We’re a terrible team. But somehow, we make it work.
  • Some days I feel like the universe is just messing with me. Other days, I’m pretty sure it is.
  • The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem. Do you understand?
  • I could give you advice, but where’s the fun in that?
  • Your plan is so bad, I’m almost impressed.

5. Philosophical & Reflective

  • find a crew, find a job, keep flying
  • everybody dies alone
  • a government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned
  • we’re in space, corner of no and where
  • I hope we die quickly
  • Guilt, the underbelly of honour
  • The goodbyes we speak and the goodbyes we hear are the goodbyes that tell us we’re still alive
  • Worms gotta eat
  • you will gladden the ravens
  • we are going to fight, we are going to hurt, and in the end, we will stand
  • The universe doesn’t care about your morals.
  • If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s finding trouble.
  • You don’t want the truth. You want something to believe in.
  • People don’t change. They just find new ways to lie.
  • Sometimes the right thing isn’t the popular thing.
  • In a system built on lies, truth becomes a weapon.
  • We all wear masks. Some of us just wear them better.
  • Me? I’m dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you have to watch out for… you never know when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.
  • What if I want it more than the person who has it?
  • Why do you waste time, when time is short?
  • We’re used to long odds
  • so it goes
  • Heroes get remembered. Legends never die. Mostly because they’re dead.

6. Practical & Tactical Advice

  • a ship’ll get you work, a gun will help you keep it
  • what is it with you beings and sitting?
  • it’s not the speed that kills you. Suddenly coming to a stop, that’s what gets you.
  • Stay calm, it’ll be ok, you have my word
  • You sure do shoot a lot
  • Sure, just ignore my brilliant plan. What could possibly go wrong?
  • I’m not a fan of your odds, but what do I know? I’m just a robot.
  • You’re about as subtle as a rocket launcher in a library.
  • The only difference between a hero and a villain is which side of the scoreboard you’re on.
  • I’m the guy who gets shot first so the others can live. It’s a thankless job, but someone’s gotta do it.

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